Why we need sync – Grace Wheeler

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As a communicator, one of the things I always used to connect with people is stories.  I tell stories about dogs, about inspiring people, but mostly about me!  This is not because I love myself, it’s because I know me best and when I share something of my life it connects with my audience.

Stories are powerful.

I don’t know about you but I can remember the stories I read as a child, curled up with my mum on the sofa or fighting sleep as I settled down for the night.  And I do so for a very good scientific reason.  When we hear stories, our brain secretes powerful chemicals: cortisol which makes us pay attention, oxytocin (the same hormone that bonds mother and baby), which makes us feel empathy for the story’s characters and dopamine (also found in some ‘fun enhancing’ substances), which makes us feel good when there is a happy ending.  Moreover, brain scans during storytelling reveal that the same chemical patterns are observed in both teller’s and hearer’s brains.  It’s as if you sync your mind to the other person’s using the power of story.  It’s as if Jesus knew what he was doing when he used parables to communicate the deep truths of the cosmos.

And in youth culture stories resonate even more.  When you use Snapchat or Insta these days you are not just invited to capture a moment in time but to tell a story.  Our music videos and computer games have evolved.  The story is central to them.

What does this have to do with evangelism?

Recently I have been captivated by the idea that in evangelism, three stories collide.  We have a story, God has a story and our friend who does not yet know Jesus also has a story.  Great evangelism is about bringing these stories together through the power of relationship.  One of the first steps here is to know your own story.

Purpose, forgiveness, friendship, belonging, change, hope, life, love, adventure, guidance, mission.  All these words help young people tell a story of the difference Jesus makes in their life.  St Peter writes, ‘Always be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have.’  1 Peter 3:15. One of the best things we can do for our young people is to prepare them to tell their story.

As an evangelist, I am compelled by the idea that if every Christian young person knew their story, God’s story, was praying for a few mates and committed to intentional relationships with those around them, the viral potential for the Gospel could be unleashed in a new way.  That’s why at Youth for Christ we have created Sync, a Youtube channel to help young people know their story and be inspired to share it.  I would love you to check it out and run it for free with your young people.

 

Grace Wheeler is the National Evangelist at Youth for Christ.  You can explore the free Sync resources here and see the Youtube channel here

A different way to evangelise – Jonny Price

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I remember clearly when my faith became an exciting prospect for me.

I had been a Christian for about 5 years, and was travelling in Australia for a few months. Someone had very kindly given me an audiobook on CD (I know, I’m old) of Rob Bell’s Velvet Elvis. This was at the height of Rob’s influence in the Christian world, back before the cliff edge that Love Wins became.

I was on a train from Sydney to Newcastle, a journey of around 3 hours, and was listening, when something Rob said jumped out and grabbed me;

“I’m convinced being generous is a better way to live. I’m convinced forgiving people and not carrying around bitterness is a better way to live. I’m convinced having compassion is a better way to live. I’m convinced pursuing peace in every situation is a better way to live. I’m convinced listening to the wisdom of others is a better way to live. I’m convinced being honest with people is a better way to live.”

During all the time I had been a Christian I had never heard anyone speak about Christianity like this. It was all about personal salvation, it was all to do with the cross and forgiveness. It was about what happened after death, I couldn’t recall anyone saying that it was about living before that.

This feeling has come back to me recently as I have been thinking about the way that we evangelise, and more generally, about how we talk about faith in the Church.

It seems that we are obsessed with the death of Jesus, but can take or leave His life.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I believe that the death and resurrection of Jesus are absolutely non-negotiable in any understanding of orthodox Christianity, but in focusing so clearly on the end of Jesus’ life, I believe that we have missed something significant. If we can redress this balance, I think there are three significant impacts we could see:

  1. It shows us the best way to be Human

Through His life Jesus shows us the best way to be human, the best way to be an image bearer of God. He shows us a better way to live.

For a while now Christianity has been plagued by a version of humanism, the idea that human reason and logic are all that is needed for a better world. Some parts of Christianity have taken this idea, and said that because we are image bearers, we are able to make this a better world in our own strength.

The problem with this is that it is untrue, it is not our idea of image bearing that matters, but what Jesus shows us about being image bearers.

 

  1. It reminds us we are called to build God’s Kingdom

If we can call young people to a better way to live, as well as to salvation beyond, then we can help to grow excitement in them for building God’s Kingdom on Earth.

This ties into an ancient tradition in the Jewish faith, of tzedekah and mishpat. These literally mean righteousness and justice, but in their Jewish forms, evoke ideas of righteousness as something given by God, and of going from retributive justice to restorative justice.

If a young person makes a commitment to Christianity at age forteen, there is a lot of life still to live between their commitment and the results of their salvation. But if that same young person is taught about tzedekah and mishpat, then they can see how their life can tie into this incredible, rich tapestry of people building the Kingdom of God. They can live for a purpose greater than any other.

 

  1. We can make our evangelism more effective.

Millennials and post-millennials are keen to make the world a better place. They want to see equality in wealth, health, education, standards of living, and gender. They want to see peace.

And Christianity has an umbrella for all of these ideas to come under. If we can show people hungry for change that all of these causes can fit into the Kingdom, then think what a different picture that paints of the Church.

It ceases to be an institution desperate to serve and save itself, and becomes a movement that seeks to serve others. It becomes something people want to be a part of.

 

Final thoughts

Jesus died for the sins of the world, but let’s not forget that He lived a life as well. His life was more than a way to get to the cross, it was to show us how to live as image bearers, how to be Kingdom builders, and how to seek after His righteousness and justice, putting others before ourselves.

Jesus did die for us, but he also lived for us. Let’s not sit around waiting for heaven, but live fully alive just like Jesus did.

The youth ministry idol of new

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Youth Ministry sits on the the cutting edge of contemporary missionary theory, and fresh expressions of church theology. We pride ourselves on being innovators, creatives, and revolutionaries.

Throw a new year into the mix and we have a skittish spasm of fresh ideas, along with a fidgety, impatient sense of ‘let’s change everything – right now!’

The new year is often the time that we change all the programs, layouts, teaching themes, leaders, logos – everything. We support this random change of track by pointing out that youth culture itself changes every five minutes, and that we have a missional responsibility to be on trend or even ahead of the curve. We need to stay fresh, or we’ll go stale.

We do like new don’t we? Hence the postmodern mantra, new year, new me.

This should leave us with a pertinent question though: What was wrong with the old me? When it comes to our personal new year resolutions the answers might come easily. I’m too out of shape, too disorganised, too isolated, too social, etc. I gotta fix all of the toos. It’s great to work on self improvement, but also easy to forget that we just spent a year teaching on the value of identity in Christ that isn’t caught up in these things. Mixed signals perhaps?

When it comes to youth ministry, these mixed signals go into a blender. We – sometimes completely tactlessly – take what we and our teams have poured our lives into, screw it into a ball, and start all over again. All for the sake of something new.

When you start something new to replace something you’ve been doing a while you create some baggage, and leave a wake of confusion. What, for instance, happens to the legacy of your ministry, the value of the hours of tears and hard work that went into it, or the period of necessary settling before an idea really starts to work. When you keep starting something ‘new’ you consistently devalue what was before.

The thing is though, God works with journeys, with time, and with settlement. He honours toil and dedication, and he loves constancy and consistency. Oddly, these are all the things young people value too.

Sometimes we do need to make big changes to our youth ministries, or start something completely new, but there should be a lot of caveats first, such as:

  • Did we really give this time to settle and form?
  • Are we adding yet another shaky inconsistency into our teenagers lives?
  • Have we properly identified, addressed, and worked the issues?
  • Are we properly resourced for this ‘new’ thing?
  • Did we bring everyone with us?
  • Did we try to bring people with us?
  • Are we avoiding a real issue by bouncing off it?

New can be an idol. In a Youth Ministry world of fresh ideas, cool stories, and funky logos it’s all too easy for us to be caught up and surrender the high ground of constancy, for the rivers of skittish change.

Let’s send down some roots this year – give our world and people the time they need to form and settle, and seek fresh encounters with God where we are at with who we are with.

Let’s maybe give the old a chance.

Let’s stop telling future youth ministers to skip training!

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(Sorry – slightly ranty post)

Over the past decade, Bible Colleges in Britain have really started to struggle getting people to apply. This has been most clearly seen in youth work courses. Not only have several large and well-established youth work training centres now closed, but many of the biggest Bible Colleges in the UK don’t even have a dedicated youth work teacher.

I find this really weird, because also over the past decade, loads of deep-thinking books and resources have come out on youth work. There is a plethora of relational practice books, education theory journals, and new Phds published on youth work theology released each year. The knowledge base is constantly growing – I thought we were just starting to get it?

Ministry Lite?

Youth ministry has been seen as ministry lite for a while now. From the outside it looks like underpaid, entertainment driven purgatory – waiting for ‘real’ ministry later. Only a cursory glance into the youth work world, however, would reveal just how many areas youth ministers need to be carefully developed in.

They need to be trained theologically for sure; but they also need to understand HR, safeguarding law, project management, working with additional needs, and a mountain of other very specific, and vocationally professional areas.

Youth ministry is no joke. Done badly it can bring down a church, done really badly it can bring the  entire Gospel into genuine disrepute. And it’s now easier than ever to make huge mistakes without even being aware of the issues.

So why are we so blasé about formal training?

Paediatric doctors will train for years. As will mental health nurses, psychiatrists, counsellors, sports coaches, and of course teachers. We see these as professions which require putting real effort into training. We take these seriously because they are involved with the care of vulnerable young people. But wait – isn’t that exactly what we do in youth ministry?

Taking Youth Ministry Seriously

Youth work is no joke. It involves holistic care and theological security. Youth workers – especially those in lead ministry positions – need training. Experience alone simply doesn’t cut it; theological illiteracy is too epidemic, laws change too quickly, and young people vary too widely.

I’m not saying for one second that youth workers need to be more intellectual or more academic – but come on! A little hard effort into understanding complex issues and deep truths about young people goes for miles in youth work.

In most of my posts I’m totally on the youth worker’s side – but in this one I’m asking the impertinent question: What are you doing to show that you take your own ministry seriously? Are you enrolling on courses, reading books, going to training regularly, and asking for a bigger budget to do just that?

I really believe that youth workers should see their role as a calling – something long term. If you believe that’s you, then taking a few years (yes years!) out to do proper foundational training should be seen as an obvious thing to do.

Training doesn’t replace experience of course, nor should it eclipse your own reading, but you can build concurrently and afterwards. It’s much easier to gain experience while training than it is to train while working.

Why would you not?

There are several routes into youth ministry, and many of them don’t require any formal training: Internships, apprenticeships, or graduating from voluntary work are often the most regularly travelled paths.

I love these options and I’ve seen some great youth workers come out of these routes too. However, there are often (if not always) signifiant holes in their ministries that need to be plugged.

When someone asks me about youth work training – and specifically about getting a degree – I always ask: why would you not? Yes, some people hate the classroom and really don’t do well with traditional academic methods – but there is now so much choice in the UK for youth workers who feel just like this. There is also a wide range of funding options, distance learning courses, and timeframes to consider. You can usually discover a good fit if you put the effort into finding out.

There is a lot of criticism levied against formal theological training: It’s not worth the money, universities are too hampered by their awarding bodies, youth don’t need another pasty-faced academic, I’d rather just be doing it, I can get all the same information from books. However, I’ve only ever heard those arguments from people who decided not to train. The Dunning-Kruger effect comes to mind.

The fact remains that the best youth workers I’ve ever met are both well-experienced, and formally-trained. They didn’t feel like they we’re already ‘good enough’ to skip it and move on, and they didn’t feel like youth work didn’t deserve the time or the effort. They are doing amazing work today that will long outlast them!

Is it always necessary to get a degree?

It probably sounds like I’m saying that right? Well, no it’s not… but I’d like us to start seeing degree-level-trained youth ministers as the norm rather than the exception. At the moment there are a lot less formally trained youth workers out there, and I’d really like to see the balance tip.

So there are genuine ways you should be able to go into youth ministry without getting formally trained – but I’d love to see that as the exception, not the rule.

There are experiences, information, and learning environments that you just cannot get any other way – from people who are paid to stay up-to-date and informed – in a space designed for you to make lots of mistakes and ask lots of questions. Why would you not see that as the first option?

So get on it!

Formal theological and practical training in youth ministry is worth every minute.

Rather than asking ‘what else could I do’, start looking at training as the first option. You wouldn’t want a doctor working on you without proper training, or a mechanic working on your car with big gaps in their knowledge. Lets take youth ministry at least as seriously.

:P That is all.

Rant over.

Is your youth group autism friendly?

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Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a hugely broad and varied collection of conditions, symptoms, and traits – so trying to gather ‘autistic friendly’ guidelines is a difficult task. However, a few basic rules of thumb, and a keener understanding of what to look out for will go a long way.

Understanding ASD Basics

Autism is a cognitive disorder characterised by social discomfort, repetitive behaviours, linear focus, concrete thinking, and difficulties with language. The spectrum is so broad that you may not notice any traits at all – but you could also see so many physical and behavioural characterises that you end up mistaking it for something else.

Physically, you might see a young person constantly making fists, shaking their arms, or flapping. They might hum, or click their tongue. They will often resist physical contact, and will often struggle making eye contact.

Socially you could experience a young person with ASD standing too close to you when they talk, speaking too loudly, or ‘ignoring’ cues. They can be uncomfortably honest or seem inappropriately aloof.

One of the most common traits, however, is a difficulty when trying to grasp something in abstract. So talking figuratively, sarcastically, or metaphorically can be a huge wall to concrete understanding.

Common Problems in Youth Clubs for Young People with ASD

We do love our extrovert-driven, spontaneous and loud up front presence don’t we? But these three pieces can actually be the most unhelpful traits for integrating young people on the spectrum.

‘Extrovert-driven’ assumes a social ease, ‘spontaneous’ assumes that unpredictability is comfortable, and ‘loud’ assumes an ability to take complex cues from voice changes. None of these are necessarily safe assumptions with young people on the autism spectrum.

Our teaching styles can also be insensitive to those with ASD, as they tend to be heavily reliant on abstract story telling and object lessons. Both of these are an enemy to the concrete learner. I often talk about two figurative people ‘Bill and Ben’ who live in a cardboard box that I hold in my hands. An ASD young person, however, might not know that I’m talking figuratively, and that the box I hold doesn’t actually contain some form of tiny person called Bill.

Some Guidelines for ASD Friendly Projecting

Your ministry should primarily serve the people that come – so I’m not going to suggest you change everything to fit all the varying people that could be. This would also be impossible! Some of these guidelines, while being very helpful to many ASD young people, might be incredibly unhelpful to, say a young person with Downs Syndrome. So read with caution and apply with care.

There are lots of tips and guidelines online and in books that you can find to help you – here are a few that I’ve gleaned and personally found to be particularly useful:

Create Consistency

Having a regular plan, or at least consistent names for project elements (‘game time’) will create a track that an ASD young person can follow. They know what’s coming next and can transition smoothly into it. Sometimes it’s worth printing off a simple plan for a session that they can follow, with a space to tick off what happens as they go. Routine, although we tend to avoid it as youth workers, is really important to an ASD young person.

Know The Parents

Talking to parents can give you clear insights into the particular triggers and needs of their own child. This allows you to fit into the young person’s social development while learning how you can very specifically support their individual needs.

Be Visual and Tip Your Hat to the Concrete

Having physical, colourful things can help to teach – especially things they can handle and work with themselves. At the same time, when you teach with objects, and when you use stories, do make a note that it is ‘just a story’ or ‘just a metaphor’.

Create Your Environment With Care

It’s tempting to fill a youth space with lots of competing sounds and sights – filling the room with intense environmental distraction. This can be torturous to an ASD young person, and makes it almost impossible for them to focus. I’d actually argue that this habit we have towards intense levels of environmental distraction is bad for most young people anyway – even those with ADHD. Choose your environment carefully – take care particularly over the overt use of lights and sounds.

Watch Your Language

By which I mean abstract, figurative, sarcastic, or over generalising language. In the same way you would speak to someone who has learned English as a second language, avoid too much that needs interpretation over translation. It’s great to use abstract language – just make sure that you let people have another way of seeing it too.

Provide For Unstructured Time

Many young people love the free time to create their own activities and have their own conversations. This time, however, can be very difficult for an Autistic young person. Always make sure there is some optional ‘thing to do’ in unstructured times. A box of lego with some instruction books, for instance, can go a long way.

Keep Instructions Simple

Everyone hates a three hour explanation for a game anyway, so find a way of communicating complicated instructions simply and visually that doesn’t have long sequences. Videos can be similarly difficult to follow – if you have it, then turn on the closed captions feature.

Provide For Note Taking

If you’re giving talks or asking them to take notes or write anything down – provide for how they do this. One ASD young person who used to be in my group loved to draw – so during talks I would let them draw their interpretation of what I was saying on a board at the front. Sometimes handwriting can be a struggle too – so why not provide a laptop or tablet for them to use? This is particularly important to think about in nonverbal young people.

Allow For Messiness

Some ASD young people can focus better if they are standing, rolling, swinging, bouncing from foot to foot, or just walking around. Create a youth work culture that accepts this as ok, and provides safe spaces for it.

Here’s what 187 youth workers call there young people…

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What to call the collective age group that youth workers minister to can be an hotly debated issue. When you mix the world of polly-correctness with adolescence-driven chemicals and egotistical youth workers, getting the terms right can be a real thing.

So, we asked 187 youth workers the following question:

‘What you think the most respectful way of referring to ‘young people’ is? (plural).’

There were a few given options* with space to add alternatives. Here were the results:

  • 148 said ‘students*’
  • 14 said ‘youth*’
  • 6 said ‘teenagers*’
  • 5 said ‘young people’
  • 2 said ‘young men and women’, ’the beast’, ’kids’, ‘super saiyans’, and ‘yall’
  • 1 said ‘you’ins’ and ‘young church’
  • 0 responses for either ‘children’ or ‘adolescents*’

Here were some of the additional comments:

“I can’t stand ‘young people’.”

“My SP says ‘Young People’ – even when he speaks at Youth Group. Drives me nuts.”

“Personally, I think Students is a much better term. It’s the precedent for whoever comes into your ministry that we are students of God. Youth has such a negative tone in most places today.”

“I see it as holding them up by calling them students. They’re on the cusp of adulthood and I want them to feel respected and that we recognize where they are. Calling them youth (or even kids) is accurate but a little demeaning when they want to be seen as more grown up. Plus, as students in my group it conveys the importance of why they’re at youth group: to learn the Bible, God, maturity, each other, etc.”

 “In seriousness though I would still choose students. Students still has a younger connotation and I could see adults being offended by it for themselves like youth being offended by being called kids.”

Now, these responses came almost exclusively from American youth clubs, which is less helpful for us here in the UK, but it does still provide some interesting questions and contrasts.

I tend to use the phrase ‘young people’ when talking about, but not necessary talking to. It’s descriptive and accurate, and – I think – doesn’t contain the condescending undertones of other terms.

It’s also worth adding to the discussion that the Bible uses the words ‘Youth’ (בְּחֻרִים), ‘young man’ (בחור) and ‘the young’/‘youths’ (ילדות) – as distinct from children or adults.

So, perhaps not massively important – or even helpful – to a UK context, but it is still interesting to think about. Our next venture will be to ask this same question to British young people and see what they say.

Are you a British youth worker? We’d love to know your thoughts on this!

7 Ways to Support Anorexic Young People

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Last night my wife and I watched the BBC2 documentary with Louis Theron on Anorexia, which has prompted this post.

Youth ministries can be rife with all kinds of eating disorders – and classically we respond to this epidemic by simply talking about self image and inner value. As if we could convince them that they are beautiful, then they’ll suddenly get better and start eating normally again. Messages on identity are genuinely important, but rarely do they adequately address the needs of a young person dealing with a diagnosed mental disorder like anorexia.

And that’s where we should start. Diagnosed anorexia is treated in mental health departments. It is often wrapped up in anxiety, paranoia, and other chemical vulnerabilities in the mind. This means that the condition, the symptoms, and the treatments are dramatically different depending on personality.

  • For some young people, anorexia means a pathological and carnal phobia of food, and what eating does to their bodies.
  • For others, it is a form of self-harm or punishment; a painful response to inordinate guilt or a denial of things they feel they don’t deserve.
  • For some it is a response to trauma or tragedy – a way of making change happen to be more acceptable to themselves or others.
  • For again others, it creates a numbness that enables them to deal with other painful or overwhelming feelings.

Thus you will find young people who are filled with shame about how they deal with eating and exercise – and they will hide from you. You will then find others who are proud, and even militant about their sense of confused piety and discipline. Some will have no intention of recovery, and others will have no acceptance of their problem. More than likely, however, several of these things will exist together in a constant state tension and battle.

Anorexia – like any mental health problem – is never clean lined or simple.

It also comes with all kinds of misunderstandings and resentment. ‘Why don’t you just eat more?’ or ‘Don’t you know that you look better with more meat on your bones!’ As if they could just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and think suddenly objectively or rationally.

Anorexia smothers rational thinking. It comes with intense feelings of guilt, fear, judgement and social anxiety – and it proffers its own destructive solutions.

So what do we do about it as youth leaders?

1. Remember that we are not doctors.

We’re not psychologists, psychiatrists, key-workers, or mental health nurses. Our job is not treatment, or job is support.

We should remember to work with professionals and to recommend or report to them to do what we can’t.

2. Treat them like distinct and individual people

Mental health needs a fuller understanding across the board. I’ve tried to demonstrate above some of the many different ways young people might experience this condition. Each of them will need a different response and will play by a different set of rules.

We can’t learn broad responses – we need to work with them individually.

3. Ask them what they need

Allow them to speak into their own condition, and to help you understand what language they need. This will also help you be able to look out for their triggers and provide for the care of those triggers in your projects.

4. Love them unconditionally

It’s easy to get frustrated by conditions that we can’t understand. But our job isn’t to fix young people – it’s to lead them to Jesus. There are few things that do this better than creating a safe place of love and security in your ministry.

5. Don’t enable

Make sure you know enough of them, and have spent enough time with their family – and maybe even nurses or social workers – to be able to help them recover. This means creating similar boundaries within your projects for them as they’ll be experiencing at home.

6. Be for their recovery

Show that your proud of them when they’re doing well and when they’re working with doctors. Mental health conditions tend to come with a pathological suspicion of treatment. Help them with encouragement that they’re doing the right thing by getting help.

7. Don’t minimise their experience

Whatever kind of grip eating disorders have, or whatever form they take, they are always destructive. Be careful not to demonise or trivialise conditions like anorexia in how you joke or talk. Always here young people out and take them seriously about what it is they’re feeling – whether or not you can relate.

Finding new volunteers: Appeal vs Approach

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Finding and developing teams of volunteers is the bread-and-butter of youth work. When the team works – it works really well, and when it doesn’t – everything has to work around it.

I’ve just arrived home after a month away to find that my team had been brilliant. They had run and grown all the projects in my absence like pros. This is the first time in 13 years of youth ministry that I felt comfortable enough to leave for an extended period, knowing the young people we’re in good hands. It’s fabulous when a team just works!

But when you don’t have the volunteers to run your projects or (sometimes worse) you have the wrong volunteers in a project things can get very heavy and very stressful very quickly.

The Appeal

For years I ran appeals for help. Letters in news sheets, notices from the front of church gatherings, and direct mail-outs to hundreds of people. Every time I did this I noticed three things:

  1. Hardly anyone responded

The ratio – however I did it – came back at something like 1-2 in 100.

  1. The wrong people responded

I often get sent offers to help from people with ulterior motives who would either be massively unhelpful – if not dangerous – to vulnerable young people, thus would need constant supervision.

  1. I’d wasted ministry capital

I want my churches to read everything I give them, and listen up when I speak. This works less when I’m constantly begging for help from the front. No one is inspired by the sinking ship!

The Approach

I recently attended a training session led by the leaders are a large and thriving Children’s Church. Unfortunately I found them quite odd, and took very little of what they said on board. However, they did get one thing very right – which is to approach potential help directly.

I’d suggest this has five stages: Identify, Encourage, Clarify, Invite and Followup.

Identify

Sit down and make a list of people in your context that could work for your project. They don’t need to be perfect, but they do need a couple of skills to start with, and some space for you to develop others. It’s not your job to decide whether or not they have time at this point – just make up a wish list.

Encourage

Seek them out and tell them why you have identified them specifically. This conversation is all about them. Tell them what skills they have and why you think those fit and tell them why you would love your young people to be served by them. Leave this with them for a week.

Clarify

Followup with them and start to tell them the basics of what is required. One of the key reasons people don’t respond to appeals is that they are too vague. Tell them what is expected from a leader, and how they will be developed and supported to thrive.

Invite

Invite them to the project for a no pressure, observation only session. Let them see and have a look at what you do – right from the setup time to the debrief. This lets them picture what it is they would be doing.

Followup

Soon after (ideally within the week following) have a coffee with that person. Give them your application forms and initiate the formal process. Get them onto to rota in a supervised position until the process is complete.

This takes the same – if not actually much less – time as an appeal process. Although it doesn’t work every time, my experience has been that you have more responses, better fitting people, and a better beginning for your volunteers.

Have you had success with appeals or approaches? Do you have any other ideas? Send us a message or leave a comment – we’d love to hear from you! 🙂

How is blowing your nose like youth work?

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So I have acute rhinitis, which is medical code for ‘my nose is always full of snot.’ Here are four ways to release that snot, with pertinent ramifications for youth ministry.

Don’t block the dam

When you blow your nose with your hanky, don’t block the nostrils. Allow the flow of air to leave your nostril easily; allowing the snot to move freely and gently in the right direction. Plugging your nose holes while trying to simultaneously blow snot out just doesn’t work. Instead you cram bogies into your brain.

Jump up and down

Some gentle jumping up and down the spot, all walking heavy footed around the streets – all the time humming through your nose – will break the finger holds of the tendrils of your mucus. Making your subsequent blowing far more effective.

Stay lubricated

The more you drink, particularly of water and non-caffeinated hot teas will soften and dilute mucus – helping the snot flow freely. Basically, give your snorter waterslide.

Stay off the pain meds

Snotty noses are often accompanied by headaches – usually because we have blocked our nostrils when blowing our noses, so have crammed bogies into our brains. Popping headache pills that have codeine in them, however, will dry the snot up. Basically you just gave your bogies crampons, and locked them in place.

So how is this like youth work?

Don’t block the dam

Don’t hold things too tightly, don’t stick your fingers into the proverbial nostrils of your youth ministry. Allow enough room for other people to have genuine input, for young people to be involved, and for the Holy Spirit to move. Blocking the movement, then trying desperately to blow life into it is likely to backfire.

Jump up and down

Sometimes you need to be a loud and awkward voice that stands up for those adults who don’t tend to listen to. Take opportunities to show your respect for young people by making sure their struggles are heard and their needs are met.

Stay lubricated

Constantly take in the good stuff. Spend time with God yourself, get into the Bible, be in church services where you’re not doing anything, and make sure you’re teaching from a place of personal learning and growth.

Stay off the pain meds

Don’t fall into the trap of being the complainy, gossipy, grumbly youth worker. It there’s a problem or a conflict, go and resolve it properly. Simply grumbling about how hard your youth ministry is will just dry you up and lock your problems in place.

Free the snot!

Free the youth ministry!

Dear Pastors, please protect your youth workers

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Over the last few years I’ve been collecting stories of youth workers who have had terrible times in their job because the pastor didn’t know how to properly mediate between themselves and the church.

A year or so after first starting full-time youth ministry, I had my very own initiation to this issue. I had run my first very large holiday club and someone on the team had decided to create, distribute and compile people’s feedback of the event. That was a good idea!

What this person actually did, however, was to take in the feedback forms, distill all the ‘good’ feedback into 4 very clipped bullet points, then proceed to berate me personally across 10 pages of ‘negative’ feedback. It was deeply personal, it was heavily exaggerated, and frankly it was legally slanderous.

To make matters worse, this heavily biased feedback report was then circulated to 40 members of the church leadership and holiday club team which included several young teenage helpers.

It wasn’t sent to me. Instead, I found out about it when three young people came to me incredibly upset, saying they never wanted to serve in that church again. They didn’t just disagree with the feedback, they were shocked that a Christian could speak so ungracefully about another person.

As a 21-year-old youth worker, I was totally broken. I took this to my two Senior Pastors who were equally shocked and dismayed. They went through the tirade with me point by point, to see whether there were actually some genuine areas that needed to be improved upon. Mostly it simply came down to producing earlier communication, and trying to print T-shirt logos straighter.

What didn’t happen, however, was any conversation with the person that compiled the feedback. They were not challenged or rebuked. There not held accountable to what they produced, and no further communication happened with the 40 recipients of the report.

I was left totally confused and vulnerable.

Not only did I feel abandoned, but the lack of response gave the person who made the report free license to continue to make my life difficult in the following years. They served in a position on the church council, and continually destabilised my work personally.

This was 10 years ago now, but it still smarts. There’s no closure and nothing that can be done about it. It needed a firm, and properly directed response from the person charged with my car. But to maintain decorum, and out of fear, I was left without protection.

This comes up now because recently I’ve heard three more stories similar of youth workers who have lost health, security, and jobs because the Pastor failed in one of their most basic tasks.

Dear Pastors…

I know you have a very difficult job, but get your priorities straight. Your first task is to be responsible for those under your immediate care. That’s your family, and then your team. Youth Workers have it hard. They are often young, inexperienced, with new families, and thin skin. Don’t train them to defend themselves from the congregation they need to integrate within.

Sometimes, Mr Pastor, you have to be the bad cop, and take the very special care of those charged was looking after the most vulnerable members of your congregation.