One year today since the launch of Rebooted!

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Exactly one year ago today IVP released my book, Rebooted: Reclaiming youth ministry for the long haul – a biblical framework. I’m so grateful to the publisher, editors, designers, readers, reviewers, prayer team, family, fantastic sidebar authors, and my employer – who all worked hard to make Rebooted a reality. To be honest, I’m utterly blown away to have gotten the chance to do this!

Over the last twelve months, I’ve shared the ideas from the book with people in Oxford, York, Poole, Bournemouth, Manchester, Wales, Sweden, London, Derby, and Kent. I’ve been able to speak in Bible Colleges, Diocesan meetings, conferences, and training centres. It’s been a totally surreal journey – mostly living out of my van.

If you’ve not read it, the basic idea is the Bible should drive everything that we do in our youth ministry, but that unfortunately the Bible is often conspicuously absent from a lot of our projects and training. Unlike a lot of other youth ministry books on the market, Rebooted is not trying to be specifically culturally relevant, but ‘supra-culturally’ relevant. This means the base principles should always apply whatever place or time your find yourself in.

What I’ve learned.

A few things have changed. It’s been nice to hear stories both first and third hand about how the book has been helpful. I’m amazed to find it on reading lists on seminary courses around the UK and America. It’s been weird to discover people I don’t know talking about it on social media. It’s also made me open to anonymous criticism – some fair and some odd; but mostly I’m shocked by how many people are enjoying it.

I’ve found the journey to be hard, but still really formational. It’s been humbling. I’ve learned that it’s really hard to sell a youth work book in the UK (which is why so few are published here).

I’ve also found that there’s no ‘acceptable’ amount of self-promotion – someone is always going to be upset. I’ve found social media can be a drug and can also be very cruel.

I’ve found that I’m a little too reformed for some groups, and a little too charismatic for others – I’ve found that the fence can hurt.

I’ve also found, however, that many people are truly wonderful; and most have responded with immense love and grace!

I’ve found that the heart can be pretty hard to wrestle with, and that I desperately need to grow closer to God each day to grow in a humble direction.

I’ve finally found that there are more questions to ponder and more yet to be done. So, watch this space!

Thank you everybody!

So, thank you! Thank you everybody who bought a copy of the book (I think my mum bought at least half of them). Thank you to everyone who has read it – and those who have recommended it and used it for training in your teams and with your students. Thank you to everyone who has shared and reviewed it.

Thank you – more specifically – to Eleanor and everybody at IVP who worked so hard and took a risk on a youth ministry book in the UK.

Thank you, Glen Scrivener, for writing an epic foreword that set the tempo.

Thank you, Mark Oestreicher, Neil O’Boyle, Dr. Sam Richards, Rachel Turner, and Andy DuFeu for writing immense sidebars that lifted the wisdom and experience of the book.

Thank you to my expert readers, Ali Campbell, John Hawksworth, Andy DuFeu, and Rev. Dr. Rob Beamish for reading the drafts and weighing in.

Thank you Martin Saunders, Ajith Fernando, Phil Moon, Graham Stanton, Mark Russell, Ruth Jackson, Mark Oestreicher, Neil O’Boyle, and Andy DuFeu for writing such kind commendations.

Thank you to Youth for Christ for giving me the time and space to write and tour Rebooted, and for all your love and support.

Thank you for my immense prayer team who have stood by me throughout this whole journey from initial conception until now.

Thank you, Katie, my wonderful wife, for being my rock and my companion – and my reality check.

Thank you, fellow youth workers! Lets keep on going for the long haul.

Enjoy some pictures…

Nordic Vineyard, Sweden

Launch with Mum

Launch with Dad

Launch

St. Mellitus

Youth for Christ National Conference

Cliff College

Nazarene College

Living in the van

Moorlands College

Wycliffe Hall, Oxford

Thrive teams, Oxford

Getting ready for the launch

The banners arrived

First boxes

Book signing at Beacon Books

Launch with Andy Hughes – Director of Urban Saints in Wales

Katie, my wife, reading at the launch

Launch day … with my mum’s cakes!

 

When youth ministry meets real life – an excerpt from Rebooted

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Youth work is not always pretty, it doesn’t always follow the rules, it doesn’t always show up on time, and it doesn’t always play fair.

I remember getting a phone call at 6am from a local school in London to explain that a very popular sixteen-year-old boy had tragically lost his life in the night. He had been out with some friends, came home late, and – complicated by an undiagnosed heart problem – choked on his own vomit in his sleep. I was asked to attend a memorial assembly that very morning, then asked if I would stay behind afterwards to ‘counsel’ some of his friends.

I got up, donned my suit, and headed through the morning London traffic. The assembly was heart-breaking. Two thousand students, many openly weeping, a confused and unsure shell of a head teacher trying desperately to find words of comfort, and the boy’s parents, fresh from the hospital on the front row in each other’s arms. It got very real very fast. This was nothing however, compared to what came next.

Myself, a local church minister, and a school councillor were taken to a small temporary classroom outside the main hall. This had been set apart for any young person or teacher that wanted time to reflect, or someone to talk to. Students were also told that it was ok to write some messages or stories on the walls inside if that would help them.

Over the next couple of hours, we saw hundreds of students come through that building, almost all of whom left a message. By the afternoon every piece of wall, inside and outside, the carpet, the tables, the chairs, and the ceiling were covered (and I mean covered) by writing:

There were funny stories of times when friends had gone out and done stupid things together.

There were shared dreams and aspirations of what they wanted to be when they grew up.

There were heart-wrenching, deepest apologies – the guilt of which you cannot imagine.

Myself and the other two counsellors walked around like lost sheep. We tried, very carefully, to talk to some of the young people; but that’s really not what they wanted. I shared a hug with a young lad I knew from my youth club at the time, tears lining his face. I had no idea what to say and no idea what to do.

You learn about these times in college and through books, but nothing prepared me for it. I remember tangibly thinking, God please help me take my youth ministry more seriously.

Of course, this is not youth work going wrong, this is youth work working! This is youth ministry at its most pertinent. The creativity of the school gave the young people an uncommonly valuable way of moving thorough their pain as a community. It was amazing. I was there, at best, to facilitate the safety of the activities and the tone of the room. God was obviously, however, in their midst.

Youth ministry is, of course, not all lock-ins, nerf wars, and happy teenagers ‘getting saved’. There are times when real life just happens; the question is whether we have created a youth ministry context where real life is welcomed, and projects that embrace the fullness of this life – even when it ‘goes wrong.’

When the rubber meets the road and things get real, the question left on the table is ‘have I built a youth ministry that can weather this’?’ Or – even better – ‘have I developed young people who thrive in the midst of suffering?’

Life, ministry, and certainly youth work, can get very messy.

Daniel

I – according to my entire team – have a serious defect: I do not like Disney films.

This isn’t entirely true. I still have a soft spot for The Lion King, I don’t mind the new Star Wars, and I could quote Cool Runnings all day long. However, I cannot make it through almost any other Disney film – especially the ones with cartoon animals that wear hats, but not pants! My problem comes down to formula – I think they are all basically the same. This is probably where I lose some of you. Thanks for reading this far!

Each film starts off with a happy situation. Good friends, cosy family, feel-good music and glitter everywhere. Then ‘the thing’ happens. The thing could be anything that introduces a tragic separation into the film (usually the death of a parent): Mufasa is killed by Scar, Bambi’s mum meets the hunter, Dumbo is separated from his mum by the circus… after being rocked like a baby in tears through the bars of a cage, Nemo’s mum and unborn siblings are eaten by a freakish barracuda, Tarzan loses his parents, Chance, Shadow and Sassy get lost in the middle of nowhere, Cinderella is emotionally abused by her sisters, Bell gets kidnapped, Andy gives away his toys, and that whole opening scene from Up!

Once the thing happens, and all the watching children are traumatised for life, there is usually a ‘thrown far from home’ bit. This is then followed by an ‘amazing journey’ bit, a rapid race through the five stages of grief while ‘accompanied by new streetwise friends who you first thought were jerks’ bit (think Timone and Pumba, Buzz Lightyear, sassy candlesticks, a load of kitchen utensils, or a boy scout and demented Labrador). Eventually they find their way ‘back home’ and ‘find themselves’ in some existential way in the process. The evil protagonists die in a brutal way (they usually fall to their doom), and everyone lives happily ever after. The prophecies are fulfilled, the world is saved, there is sometimes ice cream or toast, and so on. Disney in a nutshell. I thank you.

Interestingly, that however, is also really the story of Daniel. A young lad, happy in the promised land, then the thing happens – which is the Babylonian conquest. He is dragged far from home, meets a ragtag group of friends, finds his way, and helps a king (somewhat) connect with God and (kinda) lives happily ever after. If I could sum up the story of Daniel in one line it would be: Trust in God, because everything else is a nightmare!

It’s likely that Daniel (alongside Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah) were teenagers because they were taken from Judah and trained to serve in the king of Babylon’s court (Dan. 1:4-6). They were also specifically called ‘young men’ in v.4.

The fascinating thing we see in these young companions, and especially Daniel, is their immense faith, and connectedness to God’s Word in the middle of a destitute world of sin and godlessness. They would not ‘defile’ themselves with food God had forbidden (1:8), they were divinely given all kinds of knowledge by God (1:17), including the prophetic gift of dream interpretation. They are also kept safe from a fiery furnace (3:6-28) and a lions’ den (6:10-23).

Throughout this whole story Daniel is able to worship his God, speak his word, and challenge the King of Babylon to do the same. Incredible!

Daniel trusted in God, and God raised him up to both speak truth and remain pure Babylon, which probably still rates among the worst cultural environments of all time. Babylon is the metaphor God uses for the Godless world that would be cast into the sea in Revelation 18:21. Young people are immensely resilient, especially when they have a firm foundation of faith and conviction.

We need to do all we can to help young people to thrive under pressure by standing them firmly upon their faith in God. We cannot teach purity, holiness, spiritual disciplines or even a passion for evangelism legalistically or abstractly. We need to continually point them back to God in the midst of tragedy, struggle and grief. We need to help them find God in the midst of pants situations. This is to objectively ‘speak God’ into where He might otherwise have been missed in the middle of the mess. Then they will be equipped in faith to thrive supernaturally.

The Gravity of the Bible – an excerpt from Rebooted

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This is a short section from my new book, Rebooted: Reclaiming youth ministry for the long haul – a biblical framework. Check it out here.

When I was growing up, my brother was big into mountain biking. He made his own bikes, had all the right gear, and wore ‘biker’ clothing. One of his t-shirts had a picture of an upside-down guy who had just fallen off his bike with the caption: ‘GRAVITY. I fought the law, but the law won.’

You just can’t fight gravity! Think about the amount of money NASA spends on rockets, fuel and propulsion systems to fight gravity. Gravity is incredible. It’s a powerful force that draws things together, keeps things sound and solid, and it helps things move healthily. If gravity was suddenly just a little different on Earth, then we’d lose the integrity in our joints and bones and even basic movement would become painful. Gravity is a big deal. The Bible has its own gravity: it draws everything together, keeps you on the right track, and holds your ministry accountable. We need to surrender to its pull (it is God speaking after all) and let everything we do be shaped by it.

When we teach young people, we don’t need to be afraid of actually opening and digging into the Bible.[i] Over the past few years I have opened the Bible in every style of youth project I’ve done and – when I properly let them engage with it rather than just spoon-feeding it to them – it is always amazing.

I’d summarise what Peter was doing back in Acts 2 (and the Apostles throughout the rest of the story) as gravitating towards to the Word. They opened it up at every possible opportunity. They used object lessons, full-on speeches, little chats, supernatural miracles – everything they could think of – to illustrate what the Word is saying. These things always accompanied their speaking of the Gospel; they never watered it down or replaced it.

If in doubt, gravitate towards the Bible and use all your considerable creative talents to bring what it actually says alive relevantly.[ii] It really works, and I guarantee you that if you can say something well – God can say it better. Remember, it’s His mission.

There’s a scary and well-executed satirical training clip available on youtube called ‘Ignatius – the Ultimate Youth Pastor.’ Ignatius is the classic superstar youth worker, complete with his own theme music, designer haircut, and ill-conceived catch phrases. Throughout the video we see him doing increasingly stupid things, like dissing prayer and worship times, telling very inappropriate stories, and leading the most cringe-worthy, safeguarding nightmare of a response you’ve ever seen.

Just before he starts to give his disaster of a talk, he gets the young people to take out their Bibles and hold them above their heads. This is what he says to them:

“Repeat after me, say,

‘God’s word – is living – and active – it is powerful – it is more – than I – can deal with – at this stage of my life.’

Good. Put them under your seat, you’re not gonna need them tonight.”

Wow. What a terrible message to send to young people about their relationship to God’s Word! I sometimes wonder though just how close to this we sometimes get.

Proclamation vs. Conversation

When it comes to delivering God’s Word, throughout Acts we see both proclamation, which is public speaking to a group, and conversation, where discourse was happening back and forth.

What’s harder to see, however, is that proclamation most often (but not exclusively) happened when the apostles were talking to unbelievers, whereas conversation most often happened with believers (although again, not exclusively). It seems to me like we do this backwards, we talk with unbelievers, but talk at believers.

The reason it’s sometimes harder to see this in our Bibles is because we have translated a few different Greek words into one or two English words – all of which tend to assume public speaking. Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting that you need to learn Greek or Hebrew to find these little problems out (although it couldn’t’ hurt right?). A little careful reading will still give you the same insight. We’ll visit a clear example of this next in Acts 20, where Paul speaks to a group of believers.

Conversational teaching is pivotal in the work that I do. I give talks for sure, and I believe in proclamation, but I also give room for interruption and questions. The expectation is that a young person can also hear from God and genuinely add to the teaching. I do this with both unbelievers and believers, because we live in a world that has a high expectation for participation everywhere we look.  To make sure this doesn’t dissolve into pure subjectivism, however, it needs careful facilitation, a good grasp on the Bible, and faith that God will always teach when the Word is opened (even if it is a different point than planned). Amazing things can happen when you let yourself facilitate and guide a real conversation between young people and the Bible.

Acts 20:7-12 – Paul, Boring but Benevolent

Paul ‘kept on talking until midnight’ (v.7). Does this sound like a Pastor you know? In the next verse Paul continues to speak ‘on and on’! You could probably still remain true to the original meaning if you added ‘and on, and on, and on…’ However, it’s important to note that the word here for ‘talking’ implies talking with not just talking to. This is a conversation that Paul is facilitating.

In v. 9 we meet young Eutychus, falling asleep in a window box, three stories up. He was not being watched, but was left droopy, ignored and unnoticed – until he fell to his death (v.9). Only Paul saw, because only Paul was in a position to see.

Paul went down to Eutycus. Down three stories, down to the street, down to the ground, down to where there was death, and he covered Eutycus in compassion – literally lay across him, bringing Eutycus back to life (v.10).

Openly Cover in Compassion

Surely the principle here is simple, and the best place to finish this chapter: Notice young people, come to their level and openly cover them in compassion.

Now hopefully you will have policies in place that prevent you from actually lying on top of a young person – don’t do that! Luckily there are an infinite number of other ways to show them the love and compassion of our God without losing your job. Here are 45 random ones to get you started:

  1. Notice them
  2. Smile a lot
  3. Learn their names
  4. Remember their birthdays
  5. Ask them about themselves
  6. Make eye contact when you talk with them
  7. Listen to them
  8. Play games with them
  9. Laugh with them
  10. Reassure them that their feelings are okay
  11. Set boundaries to keep them safe
  12. Listen to their stories
  13. Notice when they are acting differently
  14. Present options when they seek your advice
  15. Suggest better options when they act up
  16. Share their excitement
  17. Notice when they’re absent
  18. Give them space when they need it
  19. Contribute to their collections
  20. Laugh at their (appropriate) jokes
  21. Kneel, squat, or sit so you are at their eye-level
  22. Tell them how fab they are
  23. Learn what they have to teach
  24. Find a common interest
  25. Apologise when you’ve done something wrong
  26. Listen to their fav music with them
  27. Give them compliments
  28. Acknowledge their efforts
  29. Meet their parents
  30. Be excited when you see them
  31. Let them act their age
  32. Be consistent
  33. Marvel at what they can do
  34. Applaud their successes
  35. Pray with them
  36. Delight in their uniqueness
  37. Let them make mistakes
  38. Give them immediate feedback
  39. Include them in conversations
  40. Respect them
  41. Be silly together
  42. Trust them
  43. Encourage them to help others
  44. Believe what they say
  45. Involve them in decisions[iii]

These are small practical things, but they reveal a youth worker that wants to consistently (saturation right?) show God’s love to young people. This is the God who ultimately, in Jesus, laid down His life to save us, and rose again defeating death itself. Paul, in Acts 20, showed the love and compassion of this God – and he showed it to a young person.

We don’t have a word written of the conversation that Paul was having with the room. But we know that God used his act of intense humility and tender love to bring that young person from death to life. Such is our challenge, and such are our tools.

 

[i] Cosby, B.H. (2012) Giving up gimmicks: reclaiming youth ministry from an entertainment culture. Phillipsburg, N.J.: P&R Pub. Chapter 3

[ii] Root, A. (2013) Unpacking Scripture in youth ministry. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan

[iii] Many of these can be found in Fields, D. (2002) Your first two years in youth ministry : a personal and practical guide to starting right. El Cajon, CA: Youth Specialties Books published by Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI. pp.98-99